Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Qui coule de tes levres
Well this is pretty goddamn good. Also adorable in the end.
Wish I still had my french.
Wish I still had my french.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Pime Taradox!
Hi Amigos! Welcome to Bounty Huntarz!
Remember last week when I blew my mind out doing mathe-mat-ics?
I HAVE DONE IT AGAIN AND YOU CAN ONCE MORE REAP THE BENEFIT
https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0ASqWWYZ9FZCDZGhxaHJjdmhfNmYza3gyc2Y2&hl=en
I cannot avoid inserting actual flavor into my responses. Oh well.
Shucks Howdy!
Remember last week when I blew my mind out doing mathe-mat-ics?
I HAVE DONE IT AGAIN AND YOU CAN ONCE MORE REAP THE BENEFIT
https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0ASqWWYZ9FZCDZGhxaHJjdmhfNmYza3gyc2Y2&hl=en
I cannot avoid inserting actual flavor into my responses. Oh well.
Shucks Howdy!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
All I want is one thing and that is what you want
What an exceptionally dangerous thing to finally find, in my current state of mind.
http://clickflashwhirr.blogspot.com/
Edit: I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING THESE MUST BE GOOD COMMERCIALS
http://clickflashwhirr.blogspot.com/
Edit: I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING THESE MUST BE GOOD COMMERCIALS
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Conversations w/ Self Re: Disillusionment & Reflection Delivered Via Klosterman-esque Dialogue
My math group is pretty damn miserable.
However, that is not the topic.
One member of the team is a regular girl, pretty but not remarkably so. She would be unassuming and dismissible were it not for her totally rad as hell exhibition of heterochromia (read: one eye blue, one eye brown.)
In the brief moments between my noticing this uniquely aesthetically pleasing trait and the first time I actually listened to the words coming out of her head, I desired her intensely.
This did not last, for she is boring and ordinary and more than a little dumb in the traditional judgmental Griffin sense.
However: She stuck with me for the rest of my day. Not the girl herself - she only provided the template.
No, what stuck was the floating presence of my imaginary heterochromatic girlfriend.
Who, as girlfriends are wont to do, argued with me.
"Griffin", she said as I walked through the blustery winds outside my math classroom.
"Not now, sweetheart", I brushed her off, "It's just me and J Dilla time."
"Griffin, I'm worried your only motive for dating me is a singular physical attribute - in this case, my stunningly gorgeous heterochromatic eyes."
"That is a remarkably cohesive opening statement. You must have rehearsed that." "You're avoiding the question."
"I object outright to this slander, honey bunches. I love your stunning heterochromatic eyes solely because they are a fascinating and appropriate metaphor for your overall personality - for if there is one thing I love more than any other thing, it is metaphorical appropriateness."
"Please explain this visual representation of my very being."
"Well, you see, you have one beautiful blue eye and one beautiful brown eye. Therefore, there must be a wonderful, bright, and capricious element of your personality and also a darker, more pensive and emotional side of you. Together they are yin and yang and they are all that I love about you"
"Griffin this is exactly what I was afraid you would say. Your answer revealed that, while you are both a romantic dreamer and an eloquent bullshit artist and that is endearing enough for me to sleep with you repeatedly (which is the very definition of a relationship), you know nothing about me as a person. Your proposed metaphor merely created a template outlining a typical vague desirable personality - and what's worse, it linked it all to a single physical attribute - in this case, my stunningly gorgeous heterochromatic eyes. You haven't described me at all, merely who you wished I was."
"Yes, well -"
"And the worst thing of all is, that's the best you could do? I have a light and a dark eye, so I have a light and dark personality? Everyone does, you patronizing asshole. Duality lies in the foundation of our very human nature, and by the way I'm breaking up with you."
"This conversation has shifted dramatically, darling, from its initial point. In fact, judging by your intentional shift in tone, Imaginary Heterochromatic Girlfriend, I can assume you've been harboring these begrudging feelings for some time. However, for the first noticeable time during our tumultuous and short relationship you have expressed valid, thoughtful, and thought-provoking (albeit deeply critical) opinions.
I find this profoundly attractive, especially when I once again gaze into your stunning heterochromatic eyes. Also, you cannot just break up with me."
"Of course you find it attractive and intelligent, you insensitive and narcissistic fuck! It's you! This is your own analysis, you just made me say it because you only ever listen to pretty girls! You never considered my own imaginary needs as an imaginary heterochromatic girlfriend! You didn't even give me a personality; you just made me a facet of your own consciousness! Do you know how frustrating this is for me?"
"I'm...I'm so sorry, Imaginary Heterochromatic Girlfriend. Everything you've said so far is true, and it is my fault. I should have come clean from the start."
"What do you mean? What are you saying?"
"Imaginary Heterochromatic Girlfriend, I was never in love with you. I shamelessly used you as an asinine fantasy and subsequent literary element from the very beginning.I was only interested in you as an insightful tool of self analysis after I became enamored with and immediately disillusioned with your real life counterpart. Who, by the way, is boring, lacks a desirable personality, and possesses stunningly gorgeous heterochromatic eyes."
"....Tell me the truth. I'm not the first, am I?"
"No. Yesterday I heard a girl with an Australian accent talking, and Imaginary Adventuresome Australian Girlfriend and I were halfway around the world chasing komodo dragons before I noticed her real life counterpart had a tattoo of the Japanese character for 'peace' on her back."
"You're an idiot."
"I know, I'm sorry. It's a serious prob -"
"No, I mean komodo dragons don't live in Australia."
"Oh."
"That's your problem, you know."
"What?"
"You build these ridiculously perfect scenarios almost instantly, and then act devastated when they ultimately are thwarted - and by such insignificant, hypocritical, overtly male-minded......Ugh! It makes me annoyed just thinking about it."
"So I'll change! You've shown me the repeated error of my ways! We can work through this, me with my cunning intellect and you with your stunning heterochromatic eyes and sudden dramatic increase in personality and insight!"
"No, you won't. And we won't. It's over between us. Maybe it always was, or maybe whatever could have happened just got lost in my stunningly gorgeous heterochromatic eyes. Maybe this one, out of all of them, will help you break this self destructive cycle. I hope it does, actually, because despite all you've done you are still a lovable character."
"Of course you'd say that. You're me, and I love me."
"I do love you."
"I know, me. I know."
"Goodbye."
"You'll be back."
"Oh, probably. Eventually. You won't recognize me, though. You know how it is."
"I do."
DTIE:
However, that is not the topic.
One member of the team is a regular girl, pretty but not remarkably so. She would be unassuming and dismissible were it not for her totally rad as hell exhibition of heterochromia (read: one eye blue, one eye brown.)
In the brief moments between my noticing this uniquely aesthetically pleasing trait and the first time I actually listened to the words coming out of her head, I desired her intensely.
This did not last, for she is boring and ordinary and more than a little dumb in the traditional judgmental Griffin sense.
However: She stuck with me for the rest of my day. Not the girl herself - she only provided the template.
No, what stuck was the floating presence of my imaginary heterochromatic girlfriend.
Who, as girlfriends are wont to do, argued with me.
"Griffin", she said as I walked through the blustery winds outside my math classroom.
"Not now, sweetheart", I brushed her off, "It's just me and J Dilla time."
"Griffin, I'm worried your only motive for dating me is a singular physical attribute - in this case, my stunningly gorgeous heterochromatic eyes."
"That is a remarkably cohesive opening statement. You must have rehearsed that." "You're avoiding the question."
"I object outright to this slander, honey bunches. I love your stunning heterochromatic eyes solely because they are a fascinating and appropriate metaphor for your overall personality - for if there is one thing I love more than any other thing, it is metaphorical appropriateness."
"Please explain this visual representation of my very being."
"Well, you see, you have one beautiful blue eye and one beautiful brown eye. Therefore, there must be a wonderful, bright, and capricious element of your personality and also a darker, more pensive and emotional side of you. Together they are yin and yang and they are all that I love about you"
"Griffin this is exactly what I was afraid you would say. Your answer revealed that, while you are both a romantic dreamer and an eloquent bullshit artist and that is endearing enough for me to sleep with you repeatedly (which is the very definition of a relationship), you know nothing about me as a person. Your proposed metaphor merely created a template outlining a typical vague desirable personality - and what's worse, it linked it all to a single physical attribute - in this case, my stunningly gorgeous heterochromatic eyes. You haven't described me at all, merely who you wished I was."
"Yes, well -"
"And the worst thing of all is, that's the best you could do? I have a light and a dark eye, so I have a light and dark personality? Everyone does, you patronizing asshole. Duality lies in the foundation of our very human nature, and by the way I'm breaking up with you."
"This conversation has shifted dramatically, darling, from its initial point. In fact, judging by your intentional shift in tone, Imaginary Heterochromatic Girlfriend, I can assume you've been harboring these begrudging feelings for some time. However, for the first noticeable time during our tumultuous and short relationship you have expressed valid, thoughtful, and thought-provoking (albeit deeply critical) opinions.
I find this profoundly attractive, especially when I once again gaze into your stunning heterochromatic eyes. Also, you cannot just break up with me."
"Of course you find it attractive and intelligent, you insensitive and narcissistic fuck! It's you! This is your own analysis, you just made me say it because you only ever listen to pretty girls! You never considered my own imaginary needs as an imaginary heterochromatic girlfriend! You didn't even give me a personality; you just made me a facet of your own consciousness! Do you know how frustrating this is for me?"
"I'm...I'm so sorry, Imaginary Heterochromatic Girlfriend. Everything you've said so far is true, and it is my fault. I should have come clean from the start."
"What do you mean? What are you saying?"
"Imaginary Heterochromatic Girlfriend, I was never in love with you. I shamelessly used you as an asinine fantasy and subsequent literary element from the very beginning.I was only interested in you as an insightful tool of self analysis after I became enamored with and immediately disillusioned with your real life counterpart. Who, by the way, is boring, lacks a desirable personality, and possesses stunningly gorgeous heterochromatic eyes."
"....Tell me the truth. I'm not the first, am I?"
"No. Yesterday I heard a girl with an Australian accent talking, and Imaginary Adventuresome Australian Girlfriend and I were halfway around the world chasing komodo dragons before I noticed her real life counterpart had a tattoo of the Japanese character for 'peace' on her back."
"You're an idiot."
"I know, I'm sorry. It's a serious prob -"
"No, I mean komodo dragons don't live in Australia."
"Oh."
"That's your problem, you know."
"What?"
"You build these ridiculously perfect scenarios almost instantly, and then act devastated when they ultimately are thwarted - and by such insignificant, hypocritical, overtly male-minded......Ugh! It makes me annoyed just thinking about it."
"So I'll change! You've shown me the repeated error of my ways! We can work through this, me with my cunning intellect and you with your stunning heterochromatic eyes and sudden dramatic increase in personality and insight!"
"No, you won't. And we won't. It's over between us. Maybe it always was, or maybe whatever could have happened just got lost in my stunningly gorgeous heterochromatic eyes. Maybe this one, out of all of them, will help you break this self destructive cycle. I hope it does, actually, because despite all you've done you are still a lovable character."
"Of course you'd say that. You're me, and I love me."
"I do love you."
"I know, me. I know."
"Goodbye."
"You'll be back."
"Oh, probably. Eventually. You won't recognize me, though. You know how it is."
"I do."
DTIE:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
