Important Things Are Inevitably Cliche

In lieu of original content from yours truly, I offer this "quote-off" I've compiled.
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiin this corner, hailing from ohwhogivesashitabouttheboxingmatchjokeanyway.
It's Chuck Palahniuk (huurf duurf Fight Club) versus Chuck Klosterman (Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs yeah you never heard of it).

Start us off, Chuck!

“Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.” ~Chuck P

Oh man a fierce body blow right off the bat by Chuck P. If I ever heard a girl say that (hopefully while angrily sucking down a cigarette), we'd have to continue the rest of the conversation naked - no questions asked.
What's your response, Chuck K?

"Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living." ~ Chuck K

Oh SNAPE. Klosterman puts Chuck's thing down, flips it, and reverses it effortlessly! What does it mean? I don't even know, man, but it's deep as shit.
Take us to the next level, Pal.

“Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.” ~ Chuck P

Good. Very good. Sure it's ultimately derisive, but within it lies a call to action. If you're going to complain and be wistful, go create something to cry about for reals. We've confirmed that this man wrote Fight Club with his bare hands.
Come on Chuck K, you indie pussy.

"Whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living. And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I'm going to blame John Cusack" ~ Chuck K

Holy fucking shit, a devastating uppercut from the underdog. This isn't just biting social commentary - there's a hint of disappointment, of frustration. This man is obviously a romantic at heart and brain. This is the kind of thing I would put on a picket sign and march around with if I was that kind of person. Surely I can figure out how to work this into an MSN screen name or a Facebook status. Jesus christ. Whatchugonnado, Pal.

"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.” ~Chuck P

Way to rally. The crowd was hungry for vulnerability, and you held out that apple with your palm just flat. Now we're on your side, and the fact that its a hopelessly self-destructive side only makes it more alluring. Much more Trainspotting than Requiem for a Dream. Very much so indeed. "I don't hate you too". Mmm.
The gloves are most definitely off, Klosterfuck. Ball's in your court for the finish.

"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person who you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real--but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."

OH MY LORD HE'S DONE IT. HEEEEEEE'S DOOOOOONE IIIIIIT CHUCK KLOSTERMAN IS THE NEW. HEAVYWEIGHT. CHAMPIOOOOOONNNN.

In all my years I have never....never seen such complete domination by the man trailing behind. Absolutely remarkable. Lets look at the replay for that. I love that quote so much I want to grab it and have sex with it, then marry it and have little quote babies with it just to watch them grow up. Honestly, that previous quote about Cusack? THIS quote is just proves that other one to be 100% true. If you took every and any character Cusack's ever portrayed and dried them and ground them up and snorted it....this quote is what you'd hear in your veins.
Chuck Klosterman, I will go and buy all of your books and read your shitty music column. I may listen to music you recommend. You've just gotten me hooked on cigarettes and grime and being a hopeless, fevered romantic. You've just created a monster. I hope you're proud.

(P.S. - Klosterman going for the victory lap around my kidney-shaped swimming pool - Lets give it up again for the winner [You are who I want to be when I grow up {read: in five years}])

"There is no feeling that can match the emotive intensity of an attraction devoid of explanation."

"Important things are inevitably cliche, but nobody wants to admit that."

"Every relationship is fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power is whoever likes the other person less."