When Life Gives You Lemons - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

So my first idea was to write about something I don't usually write about, because I'm a big fan of Tzeentch lately.

I was sick for a day. I managed to combat it by stuffing myself with hot food and sleeping for 18 hours. I went out and bought cumin. I read books. Read Neil Gaiman. Read some more Neil Gaiman. In fact, I read four Neil Gaiman books.

So now I'm hyperaware of fog and wary of shadows.

And more importantly, shedding mucus nasally at a prodigious rate. This is the one thing that has stuck with me, after the body aches and head full of hot cotton fade, vanquished by cumin.
And it is vexing.

Which is what I want to concentrate on.

There. There. I just did it fast, quickly, in this new stream of drunkenness style I am trying to cultivate without the use of booze itself.

I intentionally made myself vexed, by playing a videogame that has been frustrating for the past days or so.
Just now. Took an hour, and it's 1:30, and now I have shit like class to deal with but that is the price I pay for retaining a fragment of myself. Verbiage. Vexed. Excess.

I did so because I wanted to do so, because I hadn't in a long time. And I'm realizing that it's healthy, or at least necessary (many things necessary to survival are in fact detrimental to your immediate health, but hey, that's how life works. sort of.) to get pissed off at a regular rate.

Most people do it silently, or at least quietly enough that it never grows up and spreads to other people, or erupts into real honest-to-god anger, or unleash it upon the actual cause of the vexation, turning it to rage.

This is unhealthy. And, required. Deal with it. That's the point.

But, every now and then, you are entitled to a good sulk. And you should throw yourself into these "vacations" with as much verve and fervor and other action words with V's in them as you can muster. Because your body will produce them anyway.

In this respect, it is like menstruation.

Also, it is an unspoken rule that you're allowed to be pissy like this.

In this respect also, it is like menstruation.

Girls, you are smarter than we think. Who We is in this sentence, I have yet to quantify. Obviously we are people who don't give credit where credit is due in the conniving department.

The point is, you have to learn to identify and seize these opportunities to work up a mental (and sometimes physical) sweat just being sullen and sulky.

Justification is key. Nobody likes an asshole.

An asshole is somebody who behaves this way all the time.

So lets say you're feeling a cold coming on, and it's still only the second week of school. You've got work, where there was no work before. Things like chores and to-do lists swim around your head, competing sperm scuffling for the ovum of your brain.

What is it with me and gameto-metaphors lately. I will tell you what. It is Zoology.

ZooLOLogy. FLOLmingo. GorilLOL. AxoLOLtl.

You're hungry, and you know you can't just eat whatever's in the fridge because the only things in the fridge are raw ingredients you bought yourself, and you can't go to the store and buy more because you're sick and life is conspiring against you just to make you miserable.
Any attempts to alleviate the suffering are met with resistance provided by the great Sulk Spirits, oily and diaphanous, hovering above your house, your head, your biosphere. Waiting until you succumb to the inevitable. Hoping you'll embrace them, become one of them.

Which you should. It's a quick and painful release, like squeezing out a deep pimple.

Quite like that, actually. A bit of strain for instant satisfaction, coupled with eye-watering leftover pain and a lingering sensation that this was a bad choice and you've just made yourself look that little bit uglier come morningtime.

Do it anyway. It's human nature. And that way, if everyone does it, I can justify it much, much more easily.

TED, I? (Wordscramble!): I've been far too busy to listen to music. Which is odd, because I stuff my headphones into my ear canals twice daily as I walk to and fro school. Mostly fro. I take the bus in the to direction. I fro back on foot. Perambulation in the Fro direction. Vehicular transportation upon embarking towards things labeled To.

So no new music lately. Not even any new youtubes. Can't listen to music when you're playing videogames that require sound, and since they're all so fancy these days they use stuff like auditory cues for enemies or powerups. You are required in order to participate. And contrary to popular opinion of teenagers everywhere, music does not in fact help you study, or learn, a damn thing.

That behind said, have some more D'Angelo.
You can skip to when the music starts, at 1:00 or so. Excuse it. It's the start of an album.